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46 SharesWhen we posted a list of 9 books for new moms and dads, I left out a book recommended by New Jersey reader Rebecca Cain, because I had never heard of it and wanted to learn more. I asked Rebecca to tell me more about the book and she’s done us all the favor of providing a great summary. Here’s what she said:In my previous corporate life, I thrived on calendars and schedules, project plans and milestone-delineated goals.

I thought parenting would have at least some similarities –read the how-to, lay out the timeline, execute, goal achieved. (You’re laughing derisively now, as you should be.) Since my husband frequently travels internationally for work, for weeks at a time, I outsourced much of our prenatal reading to him since he’d otherwise be struggling to decipher foreign language newscasts. He was great at summarizing the 5 things that we absolutely must do –or avoid doing – to ensure our impeding addition would be happy, healthy, sleeping, performing calculus in her head, etc. Only, our kid rarely fit the descriptions we’d crib-noted, or her temperament just didn’t lend itself to their prescriptions. A few weeks in, I understood the roller coaster called “newborn” I’d just boarded didn’t come with a calendar function.I wish instead I’d had my husband read, as I believe that armed with the insight of this piece I would have been more confident as a new parent, and more curious, rather than anxious, about how my new baby was experiencing the world.

And, I would have had one of those project plans (at least in broad brush strokes) I used to love so much when life could be cleanly displayed in Excel (wistful sigh).Based on 35 years of research by Dutch husband-and-wife academic team Hetty van de Rijt and Frans Plooij, The Wonder Weeks offers age-based baby behavior insight focused on 10 distinct developmental “leaps” from birth through 20 months. In addition to laying out when (as in, which weeks, by gestational age) you can expect your baby to be most difficult, they also present diary entries from 15 families at each leap, and offer optimism that the “wonder week” will end with positive growth for your child.

Quite frankly, it’s the closest thing to a crystal-ball-for-parents I’ve seen.A mom with a slightly older baby suggested book to me when I was at my wit’s end with a clingy, crying, non-sleeping, 8-week-old, wondering if my previously lovely baby had undergone a complete personality change. “Oh, that’s a Wonder Week,” she said, almost off-handedly. “There’s another one soon. Get the book, there’s a calendar.”A calendar?!Skeptical of the book’s predictive power, so I first signed up for the free alarm service, which promised to alert me by email to the next leap a few days before it should commence. A few weeks later I received my first alert; two days after that she was well into the next leap, with its associated clinginess, crying, and crankiness (the “three C’s”).Convinced, I bought the app ($1.99 for iOS and Android) and the full e-book ($12.99 on your iOS device). While I haven’t read the book, I am familiar with the concept and occasionally google “wonder week 4 months old” or something to confirm what I already knew last weekend when my four month old was up 3 hours straight one night and up every hour the following night – yup, it’s a wonder week!It really does help to frame things that way as well as knowing that if your baby is learning a new skill – ours is trying to roll from back to front in his sleep – they’ll not sleep so well for a bit. Makes it not feel so desperate and never-ending:).

Your Baby's Developing Mind: What a Wonder-ful World!In The Wonder Weeks, you'll discover the specific dates during their first 14 months when all babies take eight major developmental leaps. And you'll learn how to help your baby through the eight great 'fussy phases' that mark these leaps within a week or two.Wonder week by wonder week, you'll see how your baby's mind is Your Baby's Developing Mind: What a Wonder-ful World!In The Wonder Weeks, you'll discover the specific dates during their first 14 months when all babies take eight major developmental leaps. And you'll learn how to help your baby through the eight great 'fussy phases' that mark these leaps within a week or two.Wonder week by wonder week, you'll see how your baby's mind is developing. Now you will know which games and toys are best for your baby during each key week and how to encourage each leap forward. Calendars, charts, and checklists help you track your baby's progress- and finally make sense of his fussy behavior.This is a baby book like no other. It will be your indispensable guide to the crucial 'wonder weeks' of your baby's first year. Highly recommended.The bad:.

Overuse of quotes that provide no real substance or purpose. Super repetitive - the book could have just said 'and now your baby will be fussy' instead of going on for page after page about how 'the baby is overwhelmed' and 'the baby is scared' and 'the baby's world is changing' etc etc etc, each time trying to phrase it in a new way as if there's an actual difference.But, the good:. It identifies the changes your baby's brain is going through. It's helpful to know w Highly recommended.The bad:. Overuse of quotes that provide no real substance or purpose. Super repetitive - the book could have just said 'and now your baby will be fussy' instead of going on for page after page about how 'the baby is overwhelmed' and 'the baby is scared' and 'the baby's world is changing' etc etc etc, each time trying to phrase it in a new way as if there's an actual difference.But, the good:.

It identifies the changes your baby's brain is going through. It's helpful to know what the baby is figuring out, but it's also interesting in general to think about the ways we learn and change - things that seems obvious actually have to be learned. By giving an age range when these things happen, parents aren't blindsided when the baby suddenly turns into satan. Or, as more often happens, you'll read this AFTER the baby's gone nuts, and will feel vindicated by the book's explanation. Fun games are included, to help you stimulate the baby's new skills.It's a good resource book to be picked up and skimmed through when your baby hits the next milestone. Just skip over the (way too many) quotes and the description of why the baby is fussy.

There are so many Baby Books out there about parenting styles, baby's sleep, what So-and-So thinks about your baby that in the end, it's tempting to avoid baby books altogether!! What's refreshing different about The Wonder Weeks is that it doesn't tell you HOW to raise your baby. It simply provides a little guide as to why your baby is changing and gently reminds you that 'It's all going to be okay'.I loved reading about the developmental changings and it was such a rewarding experience to see There are so many Baby Books out there about parenting styles, baby's sleep, what So-and-So thinks about your baby that in the end, it's tempting to avoid baby books altogether!! What's refreshing different about The Wonder Weeks is that it doesn't tell you HOW to raise your baby. It simply provides a little guide as to why your baby is changing and gently reminds you that 'It's all going to be okay'.I loved reading about the developmental changings and it was such a rewarding experience to see those changes coming to life in my little boy. The speed at which babies grow and develop is astounding and it still boogles my mind how much they have to learn in their first year.It was good to know approximately when the fussy periods for my son might arrive and to give myself permission to take it easy during those weeks.

In the book, there are lovely excerpts from other Mums' experiences and I really enjoyed reading these maternal snippets. The suggested games to help your little one through developmental leaps also reminded me to be creative and have fun with my little one.I would wholeheartedly recommend this to any first time Mum, especially if she doesn't have a huge support network and just needs some tools to keep her sane. I liked this book for two reasons:1. It helped me to see the difficult times as positive moments of growth.2. I liked the list of possible skills for each age and the short lists of games or toys.This book is not exhaustive in its description of baby development and the parent quotes weren't always interesting. I never planned to use only one book or only one friend or only one resource for child care advice.

This book could not be your sole reference, but I did gain something valuable from it I liked this book for two reasons:1. It helped me to see the difficult times as positive moments of growth.2. I liked the list of possible skills for each age and the short lists of games or toys.This book is not exhaustive in its description of baby development and the parent quotes weren't always interesting. I never planned to use only one book or only one friend or only one resource for child care advice. This book could not be your sole reference, but I did gain something valuable from it which I haven't necessarily gotten from other books which is why I rank this so highly. I'm about halfway through the book, and it's clear that I'm not going to be able to finish this one.It does have some useful information on babies' development.

And some ideas of age-appropriate activities (though most will be pretty familiar to anyone who has been around babies).But these 'predictable phases' seem over-exaggerated. My first child was the fussy one, and she never seemed to have the highs and lows that I would have predicted from this book.

My second is more laid back, and Ugh. I'm about halfway through the book, and it's clear that I'm not going to be able to finish this one.It does have some useful information on babies' development. And some ideas of age-appropriate activities (though most will be pretty familiar to anyone who has been around babies).But these 'predictable phases' seem over-exaggerated. My first child was the fussy one, and she never seemed to have the highs and lows that I would have predicted from this book.

My second is more laid back, and he doesn't seem to have these obvious rocky periods, either.Or maybe these phases are more common to babies of parents who don't practice 'attachment parenting.' Which brings me to my next beef.The book seems to be about half quotes from parents. The best of which fail to be particularly illuminating. And the worst of which.well, read this book if you want to hear a mom (yes, moms, this book is very gender-biased) griping about being 'irritated by her son's slow coordination' because he doesn't crawl or pull up ahead of schedule, being irritated by her daughter standing in her crib crying, putting her 26 year old baby in bed whenever she gets fed up with her wanting to be picked up, getting angry about her 25 week old's 'tantrums,' shaking her baby, complaining that her baby doesn't lay peacefully in his crib.and on and on. And most of these comments just stand there, without any comment on their appropriateness or how the baby and the mama's needs might be better met.

At least the authors mentioned that babies shouldn't be shaken after quoting a mom who shook her baby. And the authors have commented a number of times that it is unacceptable to hit a baby.And I guess that's my problem right there.

I am not the target audience for this book. It is directed toward people who need to be told that it's not okay to slap a baby.Parenting can be hard work. If some moms need to feel not so alone in their negative (and often developmentally inappropriate) feelings towards their babies, than this book might make them feel better.But I have no desire to muck about in this negativity. I was expecting to enjoy this book thoroughly. When my child was 5 weeks old and constantly crying and wanting to nurse, I frantically Dr. Googled what the heck was different about that day from all the days before. I found the Wonder Weeks site and lo and behold, 'discovered' that my kid was preparing for a mental leap.

Sure enough, a few days later he was back to his normal self and in addition, he was doing some new things that he hadn't done before.When the book was ordered for the library, I was expecting to enjoy this book thoroughly. When my child was 5 weeks old and constantly crying and wanting to nurse, I frantically Dr. Googled what the heck was different about that day from all the days before.

I found the Wonder Weeks site and lo and behold, 'discovered' that my kid was preparing for a mental leap. Sure enough, a few days later he was back to his normal self and in addition, he was doing some new things that he hadn't done before.When the book was ordered for the library, I decided to check it out since I'm still not sure what I'm doing and this is my one shot at parenting (so I better get it right!).I like the introduction to each section and new things that parents should be looking for with each leap. It's amazing how much happens in the first year, and the book outlines this nicely.I admittedly skipped to the section that pertains to my child's current age and he's kind of (or should be) in between mental leaps at the moment. Plus, he's been sick for two weeks straight, so is he getting up at night because he's getting ready for a mental leap, or is he just recovering from a stomach bug?

I feel like this is something the reader needs to commit to from the beginning in order for the philosophy to make any sense.Also, there are a lot of complaints about how the book is stuffed with real-life parent quotes. I found a problem with this too, but not for the reasons that many other reviewers note. I started freaking out when a number of the parents with kids younger than mine talked about their child crawling and doing things that my kid hasn't mastered yet. While I know he is on his own timeline and is developing normally, I couldn't help but compare and worry, and it just brought up a lot of insecurities, as if anything that I am doing with him could possibly make my seven month old magically start crawling. I don't know.

There is so much variation in what is considered 'normal' for stuff like this, but it still brings out a lot of insecurities.So, other than the basic information on the leaps themselves, I didn't find this book super helpful. Again, if I had followed this from the beginning, it might work more for me, but I'm just having trouble placing where my child fits. The information provided here is useful, however the whole book is kind of a waste of time and money, unless you are reading it ahead of time during your pregnancy. I started it with my 9 week old and realized two things:1) This isn't new information. Everything in this book was something I already read via many (free) parenting apps.2) It is the same information week after week. It's wonderful information - it allows you some comfort that what your child is experiencing is normal, expected, an The information provided here is useful, however the whole book is kind of a waste of time and money, unless you are reading it ahead of time during your pregnancy. I started it with my 9 week old and realized two things:1) This isn't new information.

Everything in this book was something I already read via many (free) parenting apps.2) It is the same information week after week. It's wonderful information - it allows you some comfort that what your child is experiencing is normal, expected, and temporary.

However the 'symptoms' and 'advice' never differ in each wonder week so once you read one week you don't really need to read the rest. And finding out when those weeks are can be Googled within a few minutes.I would recommend saving your time and money and not reading this book. It's not bad, it's just not really necessary. After over a year reading it, I have now a better understanding of all the leaps and developments the babies go through. Important milestones and developmental changes, the book really helps with ideas and what to observe during those leaps.Unfortunately one of the most useful chapters (Sleep) is at the end, and I should have started with that! Plentiful of valuable information in there, that could have settled my expectations before learning it the hard way.

My advice (if you acre a new parent) After over a year reading it, I have now a better understanding of all the leaps and developments the babies go through. Important milestones and developmental changes, the book really helps with ideas and what to observe during those leaps.Unfortunately one of the most useful chapters (Sleep) is at the end, and I should have started with that!

Plentiful of valuable information in there, that could have settled my expectations before learning it the hard way. My advice (if you acre a new parent)? Start with that chapter. This book was fantastic and very helpful. The authors took the results of a giant study that indicated a correlation between certain weeks of a baby's life and difficult behaviors (excessive crying etc.) Each section describes what behaviors to expect, theories behind why they may take place (suddenly being able to see for example), and suggestions for activities parents can do to sooth, entertain, and challenge baby.

I marked the week before each wonder week on my calendar and read each secti This book was fantastic and very helpful. The authors took the results of a giant study that indicated a correlation between certain weeks of a baby's life and difficult behaviors (excessive crying etc.) Each section describes what behaviors to expect, theories behind why they may take place (suddenly being able to see for example), and suggestions for activities parents can do to sooth, entertain, and challenge baby. I marked the week before each wonder week on my calendar and read each section out loud so my husband and I knew what to expect and how to cope with and help our baby. Now that I'm a parent, she said rather pompously, I should probably try to finish fewer books. As in, stop pushing myself to slog through books I find boring just to be completist and be ok with the sunk cost and possibility that a book may redeem itself near the end. When has that ever actually happened?? If I don't like the beginning and almost middle, it's unlikely I will get much out of the rest of it, probably.Anyway, here's a good start-I stopped a little over a third of the way through.

Now that I'm a parent, she said rather pompously, I should probably try to finish fewer books. As in, stop pushing myself to slog through books I find boring just to be completist and be ok with the sunk cost and possibility that a book may redeem itself near the end.

When has that ever actually happened?? If I don't like the beginning and almost middle, it's unlikely I will get much out of the rest of it, probably.Anyway, here's a good start-I stopped a little over a third of the way through. So far, each chapter seems indistinguishable from another to me:1. At Week Number , your baby may be extra fussy and clingy after being less fussy. This is normal, it's a phase, and it will pass.2.

Don't shake your baby.3. After this phase, your baby may demonstrate some new behaviors.There's too much equivocating for this to be all that useful. There might be some interesting child development stuff in here, but it isn't presented in a very interesting way and again, all the 'your child may or may not demonstrate this' is distracting.I remain a bit skeptical of this idea of predicting Wonder Weeks.the premise seems logical enough at first, but the most practical part seems to be just comforting parents that babies go through phases and it's not that they suddenly started sucking at parenting or that their baby is broken, but that the only constant is change, blah blah. This is really an incredible book.

I think it has done more to help me as a mother than any other parenting book I've read.besides the scriptures. The whole premise of the book is that babies go through mental or cognitive growths spurts just like they go through physical growth spurts. Usually a few weeks before a baby makes a physical 'leap' forward they also make a mental 'leap' forward which is characterized by a fussy, clingy and sleepless baby.

This is a time when a baby's whole world is This is really an incredible book. I think it has done more to help me as a mother than any other parenting book I've read.besides the scriptures. The whole premise of the book is that babies go through mental or cognitive growths spurts just like they go through physical growth spurts. Usually a few weeks before a baby makes a physical 'leap' forward they also make a mental 'leap' forward which is characterized by a fussy, clingy and sleepless baby. This is a time when a baby's whole world is changing and they don't know how to cope with it yet so they cling to what is safe and familiar.

Mom, milk, being held, dad, etc. This is kind of hard for adults to understand but just imagine if every few months you gained a new sense, like all of a sudden you could hear twice as far or could smell things a half mile away, it would really change your world and make it kind of a scary place. Those are the types of changes a baby goes through every few months and with which they have to learn how to cope.I wish I'd had this book with my first child. It would have saved me a lot of grief. It actually kind of breaks my heart now when I think back how during some of his leap periods I was so frustrated and so at a loss for what to do that I let him cry himself to sleep- when really what he needed was to know he was safe, loved and that the world wasn't as scary as it appeared.

I don't think he suffered any permanent damage but I just need to remember that now, as a two-year-old, he is still making cognitive 'leaps' and that instead of getting frustrated I need to find constructive ways to help him through them. This book helped to remind me that even though my children are little and can't communicate well they are still human beings who have complicated emotions, thoughts and feelings and that it is my job to be patient and to help them make sense of this confusing world.Highly Highly Recommend this book to all parents! My parents picked this up somewhere and passed it on to me. The bulk of the book focuses on the individual 'wonder weeks' during which babies make leaps.

Actually, there is a little calendar that shows when the baby is likely to be fussy due to these leaps and that made me a little uneasy because it seemed like there were more stormy periods than sunny. At first, I wasn't blown away by this book.

But, as I've read along through the wonder weeks as Natalie approaches them, I've found it very fasc My parents picked this up somewhere and passed it on to me. The bulk of the book focuses on the individual 'wonder weeks' during which babies make leaps. Actually, there is a little calendar that shows when the baby is likely to be fussy due to these leaps and that made me a little uneasy because it seemed like there were more stormy periods than sunny. At first, I wasn't blown away by this book. But, as I've read along through the wonder weeks as Natalie approaches them, I've found it very fascinating and exciting. It is awesome to read about what Natalie will be able to do next and to also look back to see all she has accomplished.

I like that there are suggestions for games to play and toys to use (many of which require no money).Unlike What to Expect the First Year, this gives tons of detail on what Natalie should be doing. What to Expect seems to be afraid to say what a child should do in case a child can't do it, the parent might panic. On the other hand, this book gives a lot of detail, but gives a large time frame to accomplish the milestones and explains that a child won't hit all of them, but rather focus on the ones that most interest her.By the last few leaps, I was frustrated with this book. Most of the skills the children would be working on required walking.

It also assumes that your child watches you do a lot of house work. Also, a lot of the toys suggested are next to impossible to find in versions that are safe for under a year. I think some of these problems are based on the fact that the researchers / authors are not American. I’m still not sure I believe in Wonder Weeks. Someone called it “baby horoscope” because it isn’t real but seems real because of confirmation bias: the descriptions are vague enough for any parent of a screaming baby to think “oh it must be a leap” as a way to find a reason for the screaming.

I think that description is probably true.I also find the style of this book annoyingly repetitive with an excessive number of cutesy quotes that just repeat what had already been said. Some of them also s I’m still not sure I believe in Wonder Weeks. Someone called it “baby horoscope” because it isn’t real but seems real because of confirmation bias: the descriptions are vague enough for any parent of a screaming baby to think “oh it must be a leap” as a way to find a reason for the screaming. I think that description is probably true.I also find the style of this book annoyingly repetitive with an excessive number of cutesy quotes that just repeat what had already been said. Some of them also seem fake, with the descriptions being unrealistic for a baby of the age they’re describing (for example, a nine month old “running off” or “walking around picking things up” - babies of that age can’t run or walk well enough to gather things along the way!). The unrealistic anecdotes may also be alarming for parents who think it’s normal, for example, for 6 month olds to say dozens of words; it’s not!However, learning about the stages is interesting and I see the value in parents having something to help explain their baby’s behaviour.

Let’s say it’s useful but only because of the placebo effect! There's some good insights about cognitive development here, and it helps in the early months to put fussiness in the context of a 'leap' from mental growth.

But our baby never mapped to the timeline they described, the book is badly structured (they jump to info for different weeks within the same chapter), and there's really annoying assumptions about gender roles, both for babies and their parents: 'The key in the front door means 'daddy’s home.' ' Really?And one more beef: They switch back a There's some good insights about cognitive development here, and it helps in the early months to put fussiness in the context of a 'leap' from mental growth. But our baby never mapped to the timeline they described, the book is badly structured (they jump to info for different weeks within the same chapter), and there's really annoying assumptions about gender roles, both for babies and their parents: 'The key in the front door means 'daddy’s home.' ' Really?And one more beef: They switch back and forth from calling the baby 'he' or 'her.' I normally appreciate this, but they do it so badly that it's frequently jarring-switching genders between paragraphs that are part of the same thought, and sometimes even within the same sentence: 'She will soon realize that there is nothing to be afraid of, since her mother is not deserting him.'

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This book made me want to poke my eyes out, just skimming it. The basic premise that mental leaps will lead to fussiness was kind of fascinating, but the presentation of how those changes happened and what to do about them was bloated. Basic summary: babies are gonna get fussy when they're figuring things out. Help them figure things out and give them lots of hugs and they'll get over it and then they'll be smarter. And then they'll probably be fussy about something else, like their teeth or som This book made me want to poke my eyes out, just skimming it. The basic premise that mental leaps will lead to fussiness was kind of fascinating, but the presentation of how those changes happened and what to do about them was bloated.

Basic summary: babies are gonna get fussy when they're figuring things out. Help them figure things out and give them lots of hugs and they'll get over it and then they'll be smarter. And then they'll probably be fussy about something else, like their teeth or something. I've basically found that as soon as I reach a threshold of baby getting too hard to deal with, she gets easy again like the next day. And then I'm stuck with this book I put on hold at the library that will solve all my problems, but I don't need it anymore. Anyway, on to do that with the Ferber book.:) I'd like more books on the popular science of babies and less how-to-s I guess.:). The Wonder Weeks has been a helpful tool in navigating the many different phases of my daughter's first year of life.

The idea that children go through a series of relatively consistent steps throughout the first months of development helped to identify different phases and learn how to help my daughter learn new skills. It also helped me to understand that she wasn't just crabby or clingy for no reason. I found that my daughter did not experience every symptom described during each leap, but ap The Wonder Weeks has been a helpful tool in navigating the many different phases of my daughter's first year of life. The idea that children go through a series of relatively consistent steps throughout the first months of development helped to identify different phases and learn how to help my daughter learn new skills.

It also helped me to understand that she wasn't just crabby or clingy for no reason. I found that my daughter did not experience every symptom described during each leap, but appreciated that I could look for certain kinds of behaviors to help understand what she was going through (and to help keep my sanity during the more trying periods). I read the book through from start to finish, and then picked it up again at each leap to remember the specifics of that phase.

I found The Wonder Weeks to be a good complement to Touchpoints by T. Berry Brazelton. I hate this book. Most importantly, apparently none of their findings have been able to be replicated.

Yet every parent swears by these wonder 'weeks' (that are actually endless). It's not a phase if all fussy behaviour in or out and sorta kinda maybe around an incredibly nebulous time frame can be ascribed this developmental leap. It's all too easy to pretend like your baby might not have other needs that should be met (such as being overtired, under or over stimulated etc) when you can blame i I hate this book.

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Most importantly, apparently none of their findings have been able to be replicated. Yet every parent swears by these wonder 'weeks' (that are actually endless). It's not a phase if all fussy behaviour in or out and sorta kinda maybe around an incredibly nebulous time frame can be ascribed this developmental leap. It's all too easy to pretend like your baby might not have other needs that should be met (such as being overtired, under or over stimulated etc) when you can blame it all on the almighty leap.It's also totally sexist and sets up a lot of nonsense expectations for baby boys vs girls. And why are only mothers addressed in this book, as if a father might not have a hand in raising their baby?